The first tenet of Non-Violent Communication // Marshall B. Rosenberg

The first tenet of Non-Violent Communication // Marshall B. Rosenberg

“I can handle your telling me

what I did or didn’t do.

And I can handle your interpretations,

but please don’t mix the

two.

 

If you want to confuse any 

issue,

I can tell you how to do it:

Mix together what I do

with how you react to it.

 

Tell me that your’re

disappointed

with the unfinished chores

you see,

But calling “irresponsible”

is not way to motivate me….

 

Yes, I an handle your

telling me 

what I did or didn;t do,

And I can handle your 

interpretations,

but please don’t mix the

two.

 

The first component of NVC entails the separation of observation from evaluation. We need to clearly observe what we are seeing, hearing, or touching that is affecting our sense of well-being, without mixing in any evaluation….

When we combine observation with evaluation, we decrease the likelihood that others will hear our intended message. Instead, they are apt to hear criticism and this resist whatever we are saying.”

— Marshall B. Rosenberg (“Nonviolent Communication: A Language of Life”)

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